Hi Parents, Grandparents and Tutors,
Having relationships with people means communicating with them! It?s that simple.
Children are people too, and this means that you must know how to communicate with them just as much as you need to know how to communicate with another adult.? After all, good communication has two functions in this situation.? First, it helps to create a good and healthy relationship between the parent and child.? Second, it helps to teach the child good communication skills that will be with them for a lifetime.? The problem is that many people grow up without ever having learned good communication skills, and even if we do have them, how on earth do we use them to talk with a child?
Treating children with respect is a key factor in communicating with them, but there is more.
Knowing how to communicate with a child so that he/she really understands and so that you really understand him/her takes practice, and it requires parents to understand how that child takes in information.? You have probably learned that every child, and every person for that matter, has a specific learning style.? This is because each person has what is called a primary sense system. ?Let me explain.
The human senses of sight, hearing, and touch are more important than you might think.? These senses are the key ingredient in learning and conveying information.? It?s true!? And what?s even more important is that while people use all three sense systems to a degree, each and every person has one of these sense systems that operates as the primary sense system.? Some people are visual (V), some are audio (A), and some are feeling or kinesthetic (K).
So, in order to build self confidence in your kid or teen or even adult kid, you would best learn about their primary sense system and then speak in their language.
Here are some key techniques:
How do you determine your child?s primary sense system?
Well, think back and consider how your child speaks.? Maybe you can easily tell whether she is visual, audio, or kinesthetic.? There are ways to find out if you are not sure, and this is the easiest:
1. ?Decide on some questions to ask your child.? Make these questions open-ended and fun to answer.? You could ask your child to describe their idea of the best day ever, or you could just come up with a series of questions about the day they had.
2. Listen to the predicates (describing words) your child uses.? You will be able to tell from these descriptive words which of the sense systems they use most.
The key here is that once you know what primary sense system your child uses, you will be able to talk to them in a way that uses that sense system.? In other words, you can use predicates that are visual, audio, or kinesthetic based on your child?s primary sense system.
The challenge sometimes comes when the parent?s primary sense system is different from that of the child.? If this is the case with you, then it will take some extra effort on your part to remember to use the right words, but the effort will be worth it.
You can also practice this with anyone and everyone you know.? Use your family and friends as guinea pigs, until you feel totally comfortable with these new skills.
Have fun practising these strategies with your kids and teens and even graduate kids.
Go to http://www.MotivateSchoolKids.com/products for more .
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